The Battle Burdened Mother

You mom's of special needs kids know what it is to fight.  You fought the doctors to speed up diagnosis, you fought the insurance company to pay for therapy, you fought cross town traffic to get to therapy, you fought the pharmacy to accurately fill prescriptions, and you fought the schools to just get fair treatment.  It goes completely against what we are told to do in Ephesians.

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."  Ephesians 4:2

So-called "normal" kids have the "normal" path laid out for them.  For our kids who are forging a path against the grain because of their disabilities or differences, we have to forge for them, so they don't have to do all the fighting.

I have no doubt in my mind that our special needs children were placed in our lives, at this time, in this place for us to raise for His purpose.  And I don't doubt that we are to insist that others see the humanity in our children.  Neither do I question if we are supposed to push and push and push and not take no for an answer when we know that is the wrong answer for our kids.  But I see the affects of the near constant up hill struggle I have faced with my kids.  In my marriage.

At the end of a long day, sitting on the couch with a cup of peppermint tea while the house is quiet and I should be calm, and I appear to be calm, just a routine question from my husband can wake the growling dragon that has been tethered inside me all day.  It is my choice whether or not to unleash it on him.

After years of enduring my wrath despite having done nothing to cause it, I have begun telling my husband, "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad near you."  I know I try my best not to offend the doctors I am frustrated with, not to shout at the insurance company in front of the children, not to show my disappointment in therapists my children love.  But I am human.  These aches and pains of raising a special needs child have to come out some time.  But not at my husband.  He loves my kids almost as much as I do (you know noone loves your kids like you do).  And he grieves for them like I do, and he longs to fix everything, maybe even more than I do.

"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received."  Ephesians 4:1

Ouch.  A reminder of that gift of eternal life, that free gift given by Christ for us.  How much hurt was in God's heart over the injustice done to His son?  More than is in ours I bet.  After a day of fighting for our children, for the justice we feel they deserve, but was denied our Savior, God tells us to live a life worthy of this calling.  This calling as a daughter of the risen King.  This calling as a mother of a handicapped child.  This calling as the wife of the man who is bearing this burden in his own way - a way that we don't  understand.  We can choose to curtail that growling beast at the end of the day.  We can find ways to let out our frustrations that don't hurt the ones that we hold dear.  I usually start with prayer, follow up with the Word, and end holding hands with my beloved.  I bet some vigorous exercise helps some of you.  I used to cry in the shower.  Sounds sad, but it helped.  Find something.  Preferably something that draws you two together, not something that puts you at opposite ends of the boxing ring.

 "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."  Ephesians 4:2

Genetic Testing

I have a friend with nine kids. She trusts that the Lord will 'close her womb' when He is ready for her to stop having kids. I wish I could be that trusting of the Lord's vision for my family. We really do want a fourth, but given that we already have three kids with epilepsy, the odds on having one without are pretty slim. And woe be to the normal child born into our family. I'm guessing an abnormally heavy burden would be on his/her heart as s/he grows up to care for siblings who need it.

I do believe He intentionally put my kids together, either to be with each other, or to be raised by us. When I was pregnant with the third, we only knew that the eldest child had epilepsy. His, was idiopathic, possibly caused by a birth injury or low oxygen during labor. We had no reason to think that the other kids would have the same problem. I didn't have the amnio or Chorionic Villus Sampling, more because I was concerned about the risks than having a strong opinion about the results. My doctors pushed, because I was older, and my father is adopted. I think doctors fear the unknown. I knew the Lord had created these children and I had no cause to worry.

Our second child was diagnosed with epilepsy when she was two. The doctor couldn't believe it. He did another EEG. The shocking part was that her EEG pattern was displaying a type of brainwave that indicated a genetic type of epilepsy. So I have one with epilepsy of unknown cause, and one with an apparently genetic type. All eyes went straight to the baby.

You know how the EEG works, right? You go to a clinic or hospital, get your head wired up and lay in a room for 30 to 60 minutes while your brain waves are recorded. Sometimes you go in sleep deprived, sometimes they ask you to hyperventilate, sometimes they flash strobe lights at you. The technicians are trying to elicit a seizure or seizure response so the patterns can be recorded. It's like taking wildlife photos from inside your house. The cardinals may be outside, but unless it flys by the window while you are holding the camera, you won't get the shot.

Same thing with an EEG, if nothing happens during the recording of the brain waves, the doctor might not have any evidence to help determine if you have epilepsy, much less, what kind. I've been told that there is about a 50/50 chance of catching abnormal brain waves in an EEG. A negative EEG doesn't necessarily mean the patient doesn't have epilepsy.

So, now we have one child with one type of brain wave, a second child with fantastic luck on the EEG recording a different type of abnormal brain wave, and time comes to check the baby. Lo and behold she has the same type of pattern as the second child. It looks like they both have the same type of genetically inherited epilepsy. While the first child dodged the bullet on that, he still developed epilepsy anyway. So of course the recommendation is genetic testing. Why, that would answer so many questions, wouldn't it. Wouldn't it?

After extensive discussions with our very understanding and eager doctor, he agreed that no matter what the genetic testing showed, it wouldn't change the prognosis or treatment of the kids. But I know how I feel about having more kids. I feel broken and sad, and know that I won't have more because I am afraid of having more children with a chronic ailment. As much as I love and adore these people, as hard as I try to not let them feel different, I am still fearful of having more. I don't want to saddle my kids with that knowledge until they are ready to handle it. And what if they choose to not want that information. You can't just put the toothpaste back in the tube, right? So we have made the decision to not have genetic testing on the kids. When they are grown, when they are married, maybe they will make those choices for themselves. But I'm not going to put another label on my kids. Not if it doesn't help heal, help treat, help cure. I just don't see anything helpful about it now.

Vocab of The Hound of the Baskervilles

In the previous post, I gave an overview for the homeschool mom of The Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  As promised, vocab by chapter.  In the vocab list for The Call of the Canyon, I expected my son will cover one chapter every three days, but the chapters in this volume are much smaller, so I combine two chapters of vocabulary this way:

Day 1: Look up vocabulary for Chapter One and Two (neatness counts!)
Day 2: Read Chapter One and Two
Day 3: Write 15 sentences with selected vocabulary words from Day One
Day 4: Look up vocabulary for Chapter Three and Four
Day 5: so on and so forth until the book is complete, five weeks later 

As in The Call of the Canyon, there is a reference to "making love" which in this era meant not much more than sitting on a park bench cooing like love birds.  You might want to go over this with your child before s/he hits that part.  Another lovely opportunity to discuss what is acceptable behavior in our teens, and what our culture brainwashes them into believing is normal.

Chapters One and Two
Bulbous   Ferrule   Piqued   Convex   Erroneous   Fallacies   Inference   Amiable   Astutely   Fulsome   Dexterity   Forgery   Monograph   Resignation   Grievously   Carouse   Betwixt   Wench   Anon   Bemused   Squires   Twain   Amiability   Scion   Bewailing   Inquest   Eccentric   Corroborated   Cardiac   Organic   Prosaic   Tenant   Impassive   Indorse   Untenanted   Sparsely   Trivial   Chimerical 

Chapters Three and Four
Impenetrable  Realm   Spectral   Hitherto   Diabolical   Vestry   Flippantly   Obliged   Congenial   Seclusion   Immaterial   Acrid   Convict   Singular   Bewildering   Inquest   Coherent   Baronet   Pugnacious   Expedient   Cajoled   Tariff   Utmost   Speculation   Trifles   Vengeance     Languid   Loiterers   Benevolent   Wily   Sauntering   Reverence 


Chapters Five and Six
Articulate   Conjunction   Ample   Insignificant   Venerable   Entailed   Endeavor   Besmirched   Proposition   Wrung   Sovereign   Rueful   Conjectured   Audacious   Injunctions   Bias   Imprudent   Exalted      Comrade   Bramble   Waning   Equestrian   Ferocity   Wanton   Commutation   Atrocious   Sombre  Discern   Balustrade   Dias   Copses   Melancholy 

Chapters Seven and Eight
Efface   Pallid   Erroneous   Propitious   Excursion   Credulous   Placid   Reproved   Cordial   Grazier   Interminable   Irretrievably   Tinged   Irresolution   Induce   Monoliths   Scarred   Antiquarian   Disapprobation   Choleric   Furtive   Cunning   Surmise   Conjecture   Concealment   Belated   Unmitigated   Conscientious   Incriminating   Personification


Chapters Nine and Ten
Reproached   Gesticulated   Haughty   Peremptory   Displeasure   Rueful   Brusquely   Conjectures   Upshot   Cultivating   Floundering   Agitation   Warders   Unmitigated   Crevice   Vile   Tor   Indelibly   Abortive   Spectral   Distrait   Abetting   Faculties   Atone   Deluged   Sodden   Morass   Pittance   Connoisseur   Cavalier

Chapters Eleven and Twelve
Delicacy   Retiring   Almoner   Torrent   Rendezvous   Inconclusive   Incessant  Abhor   Reticent   Magnates   Warren   Effigy   Incredulity   Urchin   Toiling   Furtive   Indignation   Decanter   Dissuading   Incisive   Contrived   Tenacity   Vehemence   Piteous   Precipitous   Paroxysm   Ruffianly   Roisterer (in the book as Roysterer)   Afoot   Juncture

Chapters Thirteen and Fourteen
Perceptibly   Recital   Dictated   Precipice   Sensational   Analogous   Reverential   Loath   Fulfillment   Void   Hampered   Halted   Admirable   Ambush   Serrated   Inexorably   Inert   Hackles   Delirious   Vulnerable   Insensible   Feeble   Endangered   Doddering   Defiant   Baulk   Swathed   Weal   Mottled   Hale  Peninsula   Quagmires   Miasmatic   Undulations   Perilous   Morass   Fathomed  

Chapter Fifteen
Atrocious   Barrister   Purloined   Consumptive   Disrepute   Infamy   Entomology   Ingenious   Finesse   Diabolical   Penetrate   Coincide   Specious   Infernal   Lair   Accomplice   Grotesque   Expedient   Audacity   Instructive   Elucidate   Waning   Confidant   Lisping   Reproach   Implicating   Fidelity 

The Hound of the Baskervilles

If you have read some of my other posts you know I have been working hard at compiling my 9th (10th?) grade son's literature curriculum for the year.  Most packaged curriculums only offer snippets of books.  I'd rather my kids read really great books in their entirety!  In my mind, the purpose of good literature is to transport the reader, to give the reader a new perspective to interpret his own life, and to spend time in imagination.

When I was a young student, I loved being in the middle of a book, and going to bed at night and dreaming about what those characters would do.  It sparks creativity.  If you only read a portion of a book, how can you develop a sense of the characters enough to imagine their responses, or to recreate their world in your head?

Also, it seems that most homeschool recommendations by grade level far exceed the grade level a corresponding public school student.  My son has only been out of public school three years, he's not reading at a college level yet.  I had to select books for him that he could understand and enjoy, not that he would struggle to get through and glare at me between chapters, which brings me to my next selection for this year.

I started The Scarlet Letter and Wuthering Heights earlier this summer, but they proved to be a little too Victorian and wordy.  You know how those first few chapters are spent trying to just get used to the rhythm of the language?  Well, not so with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Hound of the Baskervilles (found on gutenberg.org).  In fact, I think that having completed that book, it might be a good stepping off point into other more challenging Victorian works. We'll see how it goes.

The language and style in this novel was about on par with Burnett's The Secret Garden, but the material was more mature, and there were more words that may not be known.  I'll provide a vocab list separately.  It was a fun run through the moor with enough twists and turns to keep the reader occupied without getting too confused.

I will say, for you Christian Homeschooling moms (of which I am, too) there may be some concern about the "man of science" position of Sherlock Holmes.  This is the first Holmes book I have read, and I didn't find it to discount faith at all.  The premise is that Holmes is presented with what sounds like a legend, an evil hound patrolling the moor at night to bring down the Baskerville empire.   Holmes discounts anything he can't quantify, thereby drawing conclusions from evidence not rumor.  Not a bad object lesson for teens in my opinion. 

In fact, I found a few quotes I thought opened some doors for conversation in morality and faith, like:
"The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes", which to my mind brings up the obviousness of creation and nature itself and the denial by so many of a singular creator.
and
"The work to a man of my temperament  was mechanical and uninteresting, but the privilege of living with youth, of helping to mold those young minds, and of impressing them with one's own character and ideals was very dear to me", spoken by a former teacher.  Really?  Is that the job of an educator?  To impress them with the teacher's character and ideals?  Or to impress them with the textbook writer's ideals?  Or shall we be impressing Christ's own ideals on our children?
and the very thought provoking:
"A lucky long shot of my revolver might have crippled him, but I had brought it only to defend myself if attacked and not to shoot an unarmed man who was running away."  This statement about pursing a known murderer, an escaped convict, yet Holmes would only shoot him in self defense, not to take him down like an animal on the hunt.  Interesting perspective.  You can go so many different ways on this to share your family's perspective on protection of the family versus protection of the whole.  The rights of man, the guilt of us all.  So much you can do with that little thought.

My daughter is asking for some computer time, so I will update with vocabulary later.  It wasn't as thick in challenging words as The Call of the Canyon, so I may do this book before that one this year.


Who am I?  Find out on my bio page.

Does Your Child's Disability Define Them?

I hear from a lot of mothers, this claim that they won't let their child's disability define who they are. What really surprises me is how many Christian mothers tell me this. Children with congenital disabilities or deformities. "I wont LET this define my child". Why not?

I know I have the unique perspective of a mother whose three children were all born with a congenital disability. (I won't even go into the term "disability" here.) It is impossible for me to NOT see that these three little people were put together in this time and this place for His glory. If you only have one, maybe you feel it was a fluke. Maybe you think you are being tested or you screwed something up. But when you have three as I do, you get to see there is purpose behind this arrangement.

But to you, mother of two "normal" healthy children and the one with all the hardships and challenges, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, medication once, twice, three times a day, to you my dear, I know you may feel something went terribly amiss when your child was created. I am here to tell you no.it.did.not.

I crochet, it is kind of a fog clearing thing. When everything is confusing, I can battle with a pattern that makes no sense, stick with it, work through it, and get to the result I thought I was never going to find. I wish life worked that way. So of course, Psalm 139 is a favorite of mine. It says God knit us together in our mother's womb. He knew me before my mother did and He knew my child before I did. He made my child the way He wanted. Migraine, Epilepsy, ODD, speech delays, all of these things He knew before my kids were even born! He knew what He was doing, and I can trust that.

So I come back around to being defined by a disability. If God created your child the way he is and wanted him to be that way, why would we want to fight against it? I'm not saying our kids shouldn't work up to their potential, and get every opportunity they deserve, but epilepsy makes my kids creative. They see the world so very differently from other people who have just one perspective. Epilepsy makes my kids compassionate. They are so loving and generous to people in need, people hurting, people scared, because they know how that feels. Epilepsy makes my kids introspective, and a well examined life is lived so much more fully.

We live in a world full of fake beauty, false success and empty riches. People living their lives to acquire and accumulate often don't see how empty their lives are until the end. Facing people, children especially, with disabilities brings a humanity to overachieving automatons and hopefully shines a light on what is worthy, what is valuable, what is important in life.

Bless your children, and bless you, mom of the handicapped child. You are doing important work for your entire community, not just for your own family. See why I care at my bio page.

From the Garden

I had lots of tomatoes sitting around the house to somehow go with the risotto I made tonight.

My dad bought some hydroponic Santorini tomatoes to go with our Christmas dinner last year. I liked them so much I tried planting the seeds. In December.

Now, July, it is the biggest plant in my yard. I kept it inside, stunted to about two feet, until Good Friday. These plants are the most humongous I have ever planted. And productive? Oh, yes!

A little basil, balsamic and pepper, and I was a very happy momma.

Vocab of The Call of the Canyon

I'm sure this is fascinating reading for the random visitor.  But for you homeschool moms out there like me compiling your own work, a la Charlotte Mason here is my selection of vocabulary for The Call of the Canyon by Zane Grey (available for free on Gutenberg.org).  Here is how this will play out in my lessons:

Day 1: Look up vocabulary for Chapter One (neatness counts!)
Day 2: Read Chapter One
Day 3: Write 15 sentences with selected vocabulary words from Day One
Day 4: Look up vocabulary for Chapter Two
Day 5: so on and so forth until the book is complete, six weeks later.

I don't usually do questions, we have conversations about the book.  I occasionally use questions as a jumping off point to write some argumentative narrative.  I may add those questions in a later post.  I'm thinking of using this as a place to start conversations about marriage and cover biblical responsibilities. 


For now, vocabulary:

Chapter One
Aloofness   Myriad   Blanched   Strife   Pealing   Enveloped   Perplexed   Wretch   Induce   Degradation   Looming   Squalid   Uncouth   Perusal   Blight   Blunting   Ponder   Adjoining   Transatlantic   Enterprise   Abeyance   Vigilant   Crass   Quaint   Consumptive   Vista   Crude   Espied   Incredulously   Dispelled   Languid   Affronted   Soliciting   Patronage   Discordant   Phonograph   Laconic   Spigot    Torrent   Intermittent   Partake   Squalid   Sordid   Dilapidated   Apathetic   Incalculably 

Chapter Two
Abated   Gorge   Intimation   Glades   Bisected   Eddying   Unscalable   Singular   Disengage   Fagged   Lithe   Drawling   Antagonistically   Divest   Solicitous   Wan   Tenderfeet   Cardinally    Squalor   Affronting   Juncture   Emanate   Twinge   Conducted   Assailed  Queried   Billets   Suffice   Permeated   Fissure   Strained   Dispelled   Manifestly   Pallid   Inarticulate   Disheveled   Requisite  Audacious  Pirouetting   Coquette   Prevailing   Affronted   Proffered   Reticent   Confide   Chiseled    Unplumbed   Betrothal  Verge   Opaque   Tumult   Intangible  

Chapter Three
Primitive   Waxing   Intimation   Susceptibility   Privation   Assuredly   Donned   Loquacious   Gnarled   Rampart   Desecrating   Potent   Taunted   Daunt   Precluded   Scrupulously   Boughs   Inscrutable   Verdure   Constricted   Scudding   Averse   Usurping   Instructive   Imperiously   Arraigned   Ravenous  

Chapter Four
Propitious   Deviation   Feigned   Mollycoddle   Bestrode   Alacrity   Manifested   Acute   Aspect   Sparsely   Somber   Mirth   Resentment   Hobbling   Disclosing   Aghast   Assimilation   Endeavored   Ludicrous   Enamored   Eloquently   Petrifaction   Derived   Genially   Privation   Adjured   Mitigating   Eminence   Effulgence   Ethereal   Coalescing   Cavalcade   Plight   Pommel   Thwarted   Abject 


Chapter Five
Acrid   Insatiable   Hombre   Laconically   Inimical   Listless   Divine   Expulsion   Furtive   Scant   Verdure   Entail   Antipathy   Barren   Confounded   Illimitable   Annihilating   Infinitude   Succumbing   Denuded   Lenient   Baser   Motliest   Stolid

Chapter Six  
Sloughing   Ignoble   Tumultuous   Impassive   Pathos   Epithet   Cynosure   Inscrutable   Repose   Elude   Soliloquized   Repudiation   Laconically   Enigmatically   Antitheses   Barren   Verily   Contrarily   Rift   Oblivion   Inarticulate   Deceit 

Chapter Seven
Discontent   Germinate   Intimations   Conscientiously   Query   Surety   Inhibited   Sylvan   Virility   Dissociate   Blighting   Unalterable   Inscrutable   Presaged   Boggy   Mien   Fastidious   Ignominy  Miasmas   Shirked   Desultory   Callous   Fidelity   Transfigured   Actuated   Impondering   Articulation   Abased   Strife 

Chapter Eight
Poignant   Firmament   Lambent   Transient   Recurrent   Tedious  Palatial   Prodigal   Throng   Devitalized   Labyrinthine   Harmonize   Diverting   Inaugurated   Fastidious   Gyrated   Disparagingly   Valiant   Indolent   Effete   Imbibed   Thronging   Congenial 

Chapter Nine
Sentimentalist   Melancholic   Inexorable   Arraignment   Erroneous   Begetting   Knave   Reciprocated   Aghast   Farcical   Frivolous   Guise   Sentiment   Engendered   Perusal   Pathos   Oblations   Discordantly  Poignant   Subterfuge   Laboriously   Rancorous 

Chapter Ten
Edifice   Dissimulation   Contempt   Abasement   Commensurate   Dalliance   Portent   Inimical   Vaunted   Discordant   Dubiously   Dawdle   Aloof   Morbid   Insidiously   Havoc   Ostracized   Trenchant  Prattled  Incalculable  Derided  

Chapter Eleven
Innumerable   Pinyons   Escarpments   Precipitous   Abeyance   Mesas   Rending   Shackles   Gesticulation   Staccato   Loath   Denizens   Abnegation   Infinitesimal  Guileless

Chapter Twelve
Augmented  Coalesced   Maelstrom   Aberration   Irreparable   Insidious  Cataclysm   Sublimity  Inured   Maladies   Strenuous  Garments   Pondering   Motley   Fortitude 

What would I sacrifice?

I have been struggling for some time now with the idea of cost. Sacrifice. My husband and I have been discussing adopting. We should be praying about it, but I'm sorry to say we haven't been doing enough of that. Although I have been testing God by saying "Thy will be done", I haven't actually put my own foot forward to see if the doors would even be opened.

Adding another child to our family seems like a blessing on the outside. I wonder though if I am sacrificing the well being and care of the three children I already do have. They are not physically dependent on me like some disabled children although they each go through their time of dependency and need more than other "normal" children. So I ask myself, is it even responsible to add another child to this mix? Am I taking for granted the needs of the three already here? Is it fair to us? Would it even be fair to the adopted child?

This morning's bible study was Acts 21. What struck me was the prophecy that Paul would be bound by the Jews of Jerusalem and handed over to the Gentiles. In response to this proclamation, Paul says "The Lord's will be done". Acts 21:14b. Christians usually glaze over statements like these. Paul is willing to sacrifice himself. He always is. That is a fundamental trait of the disciples and apostles. But is it running through his head whether not it is a wise sacrifice? That's what stops me.

There is no doubt that I would jump in front of a moving car to sacrifice myself for my child. I would give my life to give them longer, healthier lives, especially lives in the new Jerusalem. But, would I sacrifice their comfort for the comfort of another? Would I take away hamburgers and french fries for the three to give peanut butter and jelly to five?

(as I type this I am reprimanding my children for being loud and disruptive just so I can get these thoughts out, an obvious sacrifice of their desire to go outside and play to my desire to understand God's will for my life.)

Before I've even completed processing these thoughts for today, I hop over to 2Samuel, where I am catching up on my reading I do with my eldest child. Uzzah is in charge of transporting the Ark of the Covenant. Human hands cannot touch this holy of holies. He prepares the animals to transport the ark, but something happens. An Ox stumbles and Uzzah reaches out to catch the pole holding the Ark. Because Uzzah had not properly handled the preparations and transportation of the carrying of the Ark, he touched it. God struck him dead, "because of his irreverent act." Ack!

Is it irreverent of me, a mother, to invite another person into my home before I have adequately cared for the spiritual welfare of the three I already have? Or is it irreverent of me to not reach out to one I have the moderate means to provide for? I really wish I knew. I had hoped in writing these thoughts down that a decision would make itself apparent. Kids wandering in and out of the room tell me that maybe I don't have my house in order yet. I don't spend enough time praying for them. I don't spend enough time studying the word with them. It may be less about spreading our financial resources thinner and more about developing our spiritual resources to better be prepared for the growth of our family, which will inevitably come when our children marry and have families of their own.

No 'Poo Hair Care

Ugh, I have the worst hair.  Thin and boring, it gets tangled so easily and I have to use heavy conditioners just to brush it.  And it falls out - even when I'm using my biotin.  Add to that, I hate the conditioners.  I know they are the reason why I have breakouts on my chin and back. 

So this spring I started using the baking soda and vinegar method to clean my hair.  I did love it, but when summer got here (I live in the hot hot south) I thought I needed to go back to shampoo (and of course, then conditioner).  Inevitably, the breakouts came back, and my hair was limp and nasty again.  So back to the cheap and easy method I went.  Oh, I am so much happier.  And my hair looks surprisingly good for mid July. 

To get started using this method to clean your hair, re-purpose two old shampoo bottles to mix your ingredients.  Since it's hot and I am getting sweaty just going to the car, I am using more of a paste of baking soda and water.  But when I first started I used about a tablespoon of baking soda to a cup of water.  Adjust according to your needs.  Shake it up before applying to your hair.  I don't even wet my hair first, I just squirt enough on to almost saturate my roots and massage my head then rinse.  Your hair will not feel squeaky clean after you do this.  It will feel soft and smooth.  Not at all what I was used to. 

 I did feel self conscious about the smell, so I asked lots of people to give me a sniff.  My loving and supportive husband said it didn't smell like anything at all, but I don't think he would tell me unless I smelled really offensive.  I asked some moms at ballet what they thought.  They had noticed my hair looked very different, very full.  They couldn't smell anything either, not even the vinegar, which brings me to the next step.

After rinsing the baking soda concoction out of  your hair, rinse with a solution of apple cider vinegar and water.  I use one part ACV to five parts water.  Theoretically this is to balance the pH of your hair after using such a strong base to clean it.  Sometimes I don't use it, I don't notice a difference, but I will keep using it because I put a stick of cinnamon in the bottle that has my solution, and I like the smell in the shower.  I'm a stickler for smells.  Which reminds me....

If you like pretty smells too, feel free to add some essential oils to your mix.  I like Tea Tree Oil when I feel really grimy, or lavender for a date or eucalyptus when I am stuffy.

I haven't started using the no 'poo method on my kids yet.  I have tried to talk my teen into it since I really think it has made my hair less oily and I have stopped having breakouts.  He's not convinced yet.  Plus, he likes smelling like Axe Body Wash anyway.  Go figure.

To find out more about us see my bio.

Shrimp Risotto

I've been stalking the Food Lion circulars lately waiting for pork tenderloin to go on sale.  I recently discovered a slow cooker method of cooking the tenderloin that I love.  I thought it made a good copy of Qdoba's pork, so I made a faux Mexican Gumbo with it.  I'll give that recipe when the tenderloin finally goes on sale.  But I see Food Lion has shrimp BOGO.  I see shrimp risotto in my future.  Here's my recipe.

Shrimp Risotto Ingredients
Peeled and De-veined shrimp.  Raw is probably better, but cooked is ok too.  On sale is always preferable!
Shrimp Stock, see instructions below.  Don't have shrimp stock?  Use watered down chicken stock.
Frozen Peas (petit pois if you want to be fancy)
One mild diced onion, or shallots if you are so inclined
Parmesan Cheese (not from the green can - fresh)
Fresh Mint and Fresh Basil if you have them
Arborio rice 

Shrimp Stock
I make this the same evening as I make the risotto, then freeze for the next time.  You can make it day of if you peel the shrimp far enough in advance.

Peel shrimp.  Place all shells in a saucepan.  Cover with water.  Simmer on low until the water is pink.  The longer you simmer, the more condensed it will be.  Go at least two hours.

Shrimp Risotto Recipe
Sautee onions or shallots and salt in butter in a large frying pan.  When translucent, add arborio rice to the pan.  Yes it will be dry.  I use about a cup of rice for four people.  Since I am feeding five, one of whom is a teenage boy, and the other my hungry husband, I use two cups for us all.  Stir the rice in the butter for just long enough to slightly toast the kernels.  Just a few moments.  Then start adding your stock one cup at a time.  Salt as you go.  Stir after each addition.  You don't want to add more liquid until all the previous liquid has been absorbed.  Continue this way until the rice is cooked through - about 30 minutes.  When the rice is done, add your shrimp, turning the heat off on the pan.  When the shrimp are pink, add the frozen peas, a chiffonade of mint and basil.  When plating, top with fresh grated parmesan.

This is a decadent dish, made reasonably affordable when shrimp is BOGO, and using your own shrimp stock can make the flavor stretch with less shrimp per serving.

The Call of the Canyon

I don't use a boxed curriculum for literature. See this post about that. There is just so much good literature out there. And I feel taking items out of context in a work really does that work a disservice. I understand public schools have to do what they can to expose children to as much good literature as they can (within approved limits), but isn't that part of the luxury of homeschool? Reading whole books? Not just snippets here and there?

Add to that, I know my son's reading level, and although he's a solid reader, I don't think he's ready for Chaucer yet. I have looked at a few books and said a definite "No" for now. Like Aldus Huxley's A Brave New World. Great read, just not at our speed right now. Plus, ex-utero reproduction. Ick. Let's finish biology first!

So I just finished Zane Grey's The Call of the Canyon. I tell my husband that Zane Grey is what Louis L'Amour wanted to be when he grew up. I like Louis L'Amour, don't get me wrong, Zane is less cowboy, more wild west in my opinion.

I wasn't sure I wanted to share this book with my 14 year old son at first. I liked it ok, I suppose in the beginning. But it was told from a woman's perspective. I didn't think he'd understand that. Carly is a Manhattan socialite after World War I. Her fiancee, Glenn came back a changed man after his service in France. The story revolves around his change, his recovery in the wilds of Arizona, how she changed as a person after her visit to see him, and ultimately her evaluation of the worth of her life outside of work.

Once Carly was in Arizona, I really fell into the book and started strongly considering it for my son. It could have gotten very trite, very fast as an idle love story. But Carly is challenged to meet the tasks before her in Arizona, something she wasn't used to in her life back home of constant entertainment and materialism. "She could hate an obstacle, yet feel something of pride in holding her own against it." Oh, what this book says about us right now!!! So many teens are exactly where Carly was, lounging, pondering, entertaining, chatting. Carly didn't realize what a pointless existence she was living until she was faced with battling for survival. Until she saw that her greatest contribution as a woman might just be being a support and help-meet to a husband who risked all for her in battle.

"She understood then why she would have wanted to surrender herself to a man made manly by toil; she understood how a woman instinctively leaned toward the protection of a man who had used his hands- who had strength and red blood and virility who could fight like the progenitors of the race. Any toil was splendid that served this end for any man."

Ok, yeah, that sounds very anti-feminist, more so than the rest of the book, but it does show how veterans who did fight for our country must feel when they come home to those who didn't or won't make the same sacrifices. Carly comes to see herself as someone for whom motherhood and marriage can be a powerful, meaningful tool for advancing the human race, specifically in America.

"On the one side greed, selfishness, materialism: on the other generosity, sacrifice, and idealism. Which of them builded for the future? She saw men as wolves, sharks, snakes, vermin and opposed to them men as lions and eagles. She saw women who did not inspire men to fare forth to seek, to imagine, to dream, to hope, to work, to fight. She began to have a glimmering of what a woman might be."

The vocabulary was spot-on. Perfect for his level. I'll add a vocab list by chapter next week. Email me if you need it sooner. I will give the caveat that Grey uses the phrase "make love" a few times, and it means flirt, not what the phrasing means now. Point that out to a young reader that may not get that in the reading.

Happy reading!

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Lesson Plans for Literature.....part 1

Oh someone please write my literature curriculum for me for this year!! I know My Father's World, Abeka, Bob Jones and all kinds of other boxed curricula are available for Freshman year English. I'm just not interested. I have a wonderfully thoughtful child. I want that thoughtful child to read whole books, not just excerpts. And I want to have discussions about them, not just have him answer some questions about who did what to whom and when.

So far, we have just selected classics and read them together, discussing as we go along. I know, very Charlotte Mason, right? But I realize that he's going to need a high school transcript at some point, and I should put some effort into making sure that what he's studying is somewhat well rounded. But I don't want to do any more than 9 books a school year. And he's still not done with The Hunger Games, which I anticipate he might finish this summer.

So far, my list (all on my nook) is:
Dracula - Bram Stoker
Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
Moby Dick - Hermann Melville
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austin
Tales of Space and Time - H.G. Wells
The Call of the Canyon - Zane Grey
The Dragon and the Raven - G.A. Henty
The Hound of the Baskervilles - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
The Odyssey - Homer
The Prince - Niccolo Machiavelli
The Scarlet Letter - Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Scarlet Pimpernel - Baroness Emmuska Orzcy
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

I know we can read these over the course of the next four years, but also know I will be adding to this list as I go. It is probably silly of me to think that I will review all of Algebra, complete the entire Literature Curriculum, read the entire Biology book and all the other topics he has to study in the course of this summer. But I feel my thoughts on the subjects aren't complete if I just do part of my lesson plans and not all of it before we start back to school. In SIX WEEKS!

To learn more about us visit my bio page.

Commerce Secretary Resigns

Although according to reports I have read (Washington Post , Reuters), commerce secretary John Bryson has not previously been diagnosed with epilepsy, he is more that quick to resign after a seizure and a car accident. I am not comfortable with the message this sends. "I have concluded that the seizure I suffered on June 9th could be a distraction from my performance as secretary and that our country would be better served by a change in leadership at the department," Bryson said.  So people are distracted by his health?  Does that affect his performance?  Does it affect his ability to do his job so much better than, say, I could? 

Although Mr. Bryson's medical conditions are certainly private, and I truly hope that these complex partial seizures his doctors diagnosed don't indicate cancer or some other degenerative issue, I think his decision not to continue his life as close to normal as possible sends a poor message to the public in general as well as the epilepsy community.  The press is always distracted by something that can get the public's attention.  Let it roll on and next week the press will be onto something more interesting commercially profitable. 

Those with epilepsy already know how hard it is to get and keep a job when you have seiures at work. Employers loose trust, peers are fearful, and the employee may find it challenging to balance health needs with work responsibilities. What do you do when it is month end and you need to work 12 hour days?  Stress and lack of proper sleep can be triggers for seizures.  Do you work what is needed or care for your body?  Personally, I see this with my father managing his diabetes and his job.  As a mother of epileptics, I have seen how school performance can be affected by seizures, what does one do when time must be taken for hospitalization, treatments, self care?

But having seizures, epilepsy, diabetes for that matter, does not change who you are and what you bring to your job.  Whether or not John Bryson was a good commerce secretary seems to be up for debate right now.  "Administration officials, speaking on the condition of anonymity to talk candidly about the matter, admitted that he wasn’t as effective an advocate as they had initially hoped."   Unfortunately, what will be remembered is that some guy  had a seizure, wrecked a car and quit his job.  Really, Mr. Bryson, is that the message you want sent to the American public?  In time you might see you have a greater responsibility than averting a scandal. 

With unemployment among epileptics over 50 percent I don't see where we can afford to add to the stigma of seizure. Mr. Bryson's willingness to so easily give up on his job, possibly his career in the wake of what appears to be his fist seizure is just a cop out. And not just for him, but to the chronically ill everywhere.Mr. Bryson, I hope you are well, I hope you are supported by family and friends, and I hope you come to use what platform you do have to support and encourage others who deal with these issues every day, not just run and hide.

Learn more about me and why I care at the bio page.

Do you know your flock?

Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds. Proverbs 27:23

I hadn't known how little I knew about the condition of my flock, my little P's. One was in public school, two in preschool, and I was working. Only part time, though. I was home in the afternoons, I had dinner on the table, homework is always complete. But I didn't know the condition of my flocks. I didn't even realize I didn't know them.

Picking up the girls from preschool, I would ask the preschool teachers how the girls were that day. My middle child has quite noticeable anxiety. That's not uncommon in people with epilepsy. Who wouldn't be anxious when you can't predict what your body will do next, you have lost all control? Sometimes I would have to leave work early to come pick her up her anxiety was so bad. And who would tell me the condition of my flocks? The preschool teachers. Not that they really knew, they only saw my girls four hours a day. They thought it was poor discipline, lack of self control. But then nap time, a little tv, dinner and off to bed the girls went. I didn't know the state of my flock.

I was home when my son came home from school, I kept in close contact with his teachers, he did his work, he brought his friends home, but I didn't know the state of my flock, not really. He was sad, conflicted, confused. I assumed this was normal for his age. I didn't realize I just didn't know him.

This ends the second full year of having my kids home with me for school, and I wouldn't have imagined what a change I would have seen in them. The joy they have, the peace, the kindness towards each other.... It is amazing. I count it all glory to God, who has nurtured us through the whole process. I can truly say I know the condition of my flock now. I know their moods, their skills, their weaknesses and their needs. Better yet I think they know themselves better, because they aren't comparing themselves to others, they are evaluating themselves by God's standard. That makes us all more content.

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Curriculum choices

I get asked all the time what curriculum I use. Don't you? If not, you will! We started out with a Charlotte Mason approach, especially since I was starting at middle school with my eldest. I knew he was missing big gaps of time at school, but I wasn't sure what that equated to. So off to the library we went. But after a few years of catching up, we buckled down to real curricula. I like textbooks. I loved learning and being in school. Nothing like that feeling of success when you have completed a chapter and done well on the test!

My 14 year old is finishing his Apologia Biology this year. It is supposed to be completed in one year, but I slowed down the pace, let him roll around in it, enjoy it over two years. I can't imagine doing a chapter every two weeks. The material is intense! Not to mention the next level is Chemistry, and he needs to get further in math before we get to that point. A sample chapter is available for you to look at here.

My daughter's also use the same series, but for elementary school. This year it is Exploring Creation with Human Anatomy.

That brings me back to math. We used Math Mammoth to fill in the spaces and get him caught up to middle school level. If you have a child you are pulling from public school to homeschool and you have lots of material to make up, don't worry. I really thought it would take us years to get to grade level. I made plans on how he could possibly complete high school in time, I agonized about how much to do without burning him out while still moving at a faster-than-school pace. It took us 18 months to go from fourth grade level math to pre-algebra. Don't sweat too much, momma!

Math Mammoth only takes you up to sixth grade, I think, so I had to find another publisher. I loved learning Saxon when I was in school, so it seemed the obvious fit. Saxon has a great placement test here to help you figure out where to place your student. :hiding my face: I actually use those tests to formulate teaching math to my younger two, we don't use a book. Maybe by 3rd grade we will, but right now they are just five and six, so we just sit down and practice things together. My 14 year old is using pre-algebra.

For history, we use The Story of the World. I like that all three of my kids can study this together. We start our morning that way, with history, all together, around the table in our jammies. The companion activity book has activities and books to read broken down by age, so a younger child gets coloring, map work, a game maybe, the older one has a list of other books to supplement and projects they can use to go deeper.

Literature we do on our own, from a selection of age appropriate classic books, poems and plays. I'll make another post on that when it's done. This year we are reading some Shakespeare, Alcott, Grey, Stevens, and Doyle.

For bible study, I love Bob Jones University's Bible Truths. For the younger ones, there are lots of hands on activities, and for the older ones, they really dig deep into scripture. Not that they don't already do that at AWANA's.....

Grammar we do together as well, using an old Charlotte Mason book, Simply Grammar. Apologetics and worldview we do together using the What We Believe series. Art is done together using Feed My Sheep.

Why do I care? Learn more about us at my bio page.

Little Helpers

 

During a recent trip to Marshall's the girls spotted these cute little broom and dustpan sets.  The bright colors and miniature design just sucked them in, and the "oh please, mommy" sucked me in.  I love these little sets more than I expected.

I borrow a lot from Charlotte Mason in my homeschooling and child rearing.  I read once in a book of hers that a child should be able to run the house around the age of twelve.  Although we haven't achieved that goal, I am still working towards it.  Also, since I am dealing with chronic back pain, I try to get the kids (who are closer to the floor) to do things that otherwise would have me bending over.

The girls are always working with something that ends up under foot, whether it is perler beads or cutting paper or sharpening pencils, they are always getting messes on the floor.  Add that to the dirt tracked in from the big kid, the fur from the dog and general kitchen messiness, my floor is always in need of a sweeping.  Only now, my daughters are excited to do it.  I wouldn't have thought that a 6 year old would be so excited to model mommy's housecleaning!  I encourage you to do more than giving your four year old the washcloths to fold.  Set the bar a little higher and see if your kids can jump to it!

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Last Book of the Year!

Big P and I are finishing the last literature book for this year. He has really been into civil rights and racism this year, having read the Autobiography of Malcom X, Native Son (by Richard Wright), The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (by Mark Twain) and other books one may or may not consider to be about racial prejudice. Our last book is Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird. 

It occurs to me his perspective on this book is completely different from mine. After all, he is growing up in a big city where he thinks racism doesn't occur, one of his two best friends is black, Big P sees no color issues. Oh, to be that naive. He didn't grow up in the small town American south I did. He didn't see blatant racism and segregation in housing and education models, or more subtle segregation in advancement opportunities for African Americans. I wonder what he takes from To Kill a Mockingbird that I don't. I see Tom Robinson as either displaying the courageous love of Christ by helping Mayella Ewell or that he was a little slow. Of course any black man in full charge of his facilities in 1935 Alabama would not have put himself in the position Tom Robinson did without knowing he was taking a tremendous risk. But does a child raised in the 2000's see that? And Mayella, forced to lie on the stand because her only hope for herself and her little brothers and sisters is to not make dad angry. Can a 14 year old city boy appreciate that? Or does he presume Mayella could have struck out on her own and had a better life for herself.

Anyway, the discussion questions I have for him are as follows:
To Kill a Mockingbird is full of colorful characters. The noble Atticus Finch, the strong willed Dill Harris, the shy and reclusive Boo Radley. Which was your favorite character from the book and why? Provide details as to what about this characters or what this character did to endear you to him/her.
Which was your least favorite character? What did he/she do to earn that honorific?
Imagine the situation with different races. What if Atticus and the townspeople were Hispanic and Tom Robinson were Caucasian. If this story were told in this time with these characters do you think the outcome would be the same? Why or why not? What role does Tom Robinson's poverty play in the outcome if any.

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