Does Your Child's Disability Define Them?

I hear from a lot of mothers, this claim that they won't let their child's disability define who they are. What really surprises me is how many Christian mothers tell me this. Children with congenital disabilities or deformities. "I wont LET this define my child". Why not?

I know I have the unique perspective of a mother whose three children were all born with a congenital disability. (I won't even go into the term "disability" here.) It is impossible for me to NOT see that these three little people were put together in this time and this place for His glory. If you only have one, maybe you feel it was a fluke. Maybe you think you are being tested or you screwed something up. But when you have three as I do, you get to see there is purpose behind this arrangement.

But to you, mother of two "normal" healthy children and the one with all the hardships and challenges, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, medication once, twice, three times a day, to you my dear, I know you may feel something went terribly amiss when your child was created. I am here to tell you no.it.did.not.

I crochet, it is kind of a fog clearing thing. When everything is confusing, I can battle with a pattern that makes no sense, stick with it, work through it, and get to the result I thought I was never going to find. I wish life worked that way. So of course, Psalm 139 is a favorite of mine. It says God knit us together in our mother's womb. He knew me before my mother did and He knew my child before I did. He made my child the way He wanted. Migraine, Epilepsy, ODD, speech delays, all of these things He knew before my kids were even born! He knew what He was doing, and I can trust that.

So I come back around to being defined by a disability. If God created your child the way he is and wanted him to be that way, why would we want to fight against it? I'm not saying our kids shouldn't work up to their potential, and get every opportunity they deserve, but epilepsy makes my kids creative. They see the world so very differently from other people who have just one perspective. Epilepsy makes my kids compassionate. They are so loving and generous to people in need, people hurting, people scared, because they know how that feels. Epilepsy makes my kids introspective, and a well examined life is lived so much more fully.

We live in a world full of fake beauty, false success and empty riches. People living their lives to acquire and accumulate often don't see how empty their lives are until the end. Facing people, children especially, with disabilities brings a humanity to overachieving automatons and hopefully shines a light on what is worthy, what is valuable, what is important in life.

Bless your children, and bless you, mom of the handicapped child. You are doing important work for your entire community, not just for your own family. See why I care at my bio page.