Do you know your flock?

Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds. Proverbs 27:23

I hadn't known how little I knew about the condition of my flock, my little P's. One was in public school, two in preschool, and I was working. Only part time, though. I was home in the afternoons, I had dinner on the table, homework is always complete. But I didn't know the condition of my flocks. I didn't even realize I didn't know them.

Picking up the girls from preschool, I would ask the preschool teachers how the girls were that day. My middle child has quite noticeable anxiety. That's not uncommon in people with epilepsy. Who wouldn't be anxious when you can't predict what your body will do next, you have lost all control? Sometimes I would have to leave work early to come pick her up her anxiety was so bad. And who would tell me the condition of my flocks? The preschool teachers. Not that they really knew, they only saw my girls four hours a day. They thought it was poor discipline, lack of self control. But then nap time, a little tv, dinner and off to bed the girls went. I didn't know the state of my flock.

I was home when my son came home from school, I kept in close contact with his teachers, he did his work, he brought his friends home, but I didn't know the state of my flock, not really. He was sad, conflicted, confused. I assumed this was normal for his age. I didn't realize I just didn't know him.

This ends the second full year of having my kids home with me for school, and I wouldn't have imagined what a change I would have seen in them. The joy they have, the peace, the kindness towards each other.... It is amazing. I count it all glory to God, who has nurtured us through the whole process. I can truly say I know the condition of my flock now. I know their moods, their skills, their weaknesses and their needs. Better yet I think they know themselves better, because they aren't comparing themselves to others, they are evaluating themselves by God's standard. That makes us all more content.

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